Individual Therapy for Setting Limits
“Set limits? Who, me?!”
You’ve had this reaction before, right? The idea of saying no, of stepping back, of making adjustments, sounds almost impossible.
To start, you may feel unsure about whether you have limits. It’s a new concept, and you’re so used to doing it all that you have no idea where to start. You may doubt your ability to figure out what your limits might be.
You may feel guilty about setting limits, or for having limits. Your critical inner voice starts beating you up:
“I shouldn’t need to set limits. That just means I’m doing something wrong.”
“People need me. I can’t let them down.”
“I am so selfish for wanting to say no.”
You may feel anxious about setting limits. Your mind starts rattling off “what ifs” that sound pretty convincing:
“What if I can’t do it? What if it doesn’t work?”
“What if someone ignores my limits? What will I do then?”
“What if someone gets mad at me for saying no?”
You may wonder about how to tell others about your limits. You don’t want to sound too harsh, but you do want people to take you seriously. You’d like to communicate what you want without others getting offended. You also want to sound like yourself, not like you’re repeating something from a book.
Good news…you’ve come to the right place!
Whether you’re at the very beginning with setting limits, whether or not you ever thought about limits before, and whether you’ve set limits before but want to strengthen them, therapy with me can help.
How do I help you make changes?
I can help you figure out what your limits (aka your boundaries) are - because believe it or not, you already have them!
I can help you unpack why setting limits has felt so hard, or doesn’t even come to mind, and why the idea of setting limits leads you to feel guilty.
I can help you change the way you talk to yourself, so that you feel worthy of rest, respect, and peace.
I can help you reframe your needs as healthy parts of being human, not as ways of being selfish.
I can help you figure out how to communicate your limits in ways that feel right for you.
I can help you accept and move through your worry about making these changes, so that the worry no longer holds you back!
What does it feel like to work on setting limits?
When you do for the first time, things can feel new and vulnerable at first. That’s okay. That’s normal! Remember that we will go at your pace.
As you work on setting limits, some of the things you may notice include:
You know what your limits are.
You feel comfortable having those limits.
You can communicate your limits in ways that feel authentic for you.
You can say no without worrying what the other person’s response will be.
You have more time and energy to do other things.
You feel less angry and more relieved.
You feel less guilty and more compassionate.
You feel less resentful and more forgiving.
You feel like yourself, not like someone who just exists for others.
You feel empowered to make choices that are right for you.